How to Feel

There is so much hard, heavy stuff going on in the world right now, and with smartphones and social media and 24/7 news, our hearts and nervous systems don’t have a chance to process it all.

And so many of us have hard, heavy stuff going on in our personal lives.

Our communities of support are still recovering from the pandemic, and we are so busy with work or caretaking, or distracted by our phones, that we don’t give our bodies a chance to FEEL these emotions. (Or we are afraid to let our bodies feel them, or we don’t know how.)

So we keep the sadness, anger, rage, shame, guilt, bottled up inside.

But these buried emotions have a way of coming out — as physical symptoms like pain or fatigue or anxiety.

When we allow ourselves to really be in our bodies, to feel the emotions we’ve been tamping down, it makes us a little lighter. Our chronic physical symptoms will often decrease, our relationships will improve, we will have more capacity for creating the life and the world that we want to live in.

In this forest therapy series, we will make space for feeling the hard stuff AND the good stuff.

We will not get into the story or narrative behind our feelings, but instead stay mainly in our bodies, and when we use words, we will use universal feelings words and words that describe the sensations in our body.

When we do this, healing happens. 

It’s so much to carry, we can’t do it alone. Let’s do it together, with Nature’s support.

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Not physically feeling our emotions in our body can lead to a host of problems, including chronic illness and pain. Not to mention, it cuts us off from the full human experience. 

So many of us learned that some emotions— like anger, sadness, grief, rage — were bad or unsafe, and so we have shut ourselves off from feeling them, consciously or subconsciously. Or we are afraid that if we allow ourselves to feel our emotions, they will take over or swallow us up. 

Or we are just so busy and distracted (hello smartphones and capitalistic society), and living in our heads, that we don’t give our bodies a chance to feel.

So we forget how to feel, and instead we avoid or numb out with distractions like food, drink, scrolling, binge-watching TV, over-thinking, even work.

These suppressed emotions will find a way to come out — often as symptoms like anxiety, back pain, chronic fatigue, depression, IBS, joint pain, muscle tension, and more. (Neuroscientists have theories that our symptoms are our nervous system’s way of protecting us from feeling the uncomfortable or “bad” feelings like anger, rage, shame, sadness).

When we practice welcoming these feelings in a gentle, compassionate way, and with the support of Nature and our own inner resources, we often learn that the feelings pass more quickly than we feared. And we get to know ourselves better, and slowly learn to trust ourselves more and more.

This practice isn’t only about allowing the “bad” feelings (there are no bad feelings BTW but it’s easier to call them that here). It’s also about practicing feeling the good ones.   With practice we can also learn to linger in the ones that feel good for longer, and practice growing them. 

What we will learn and practice:

• How to recognize and allow different felt sensations (pain, emotions, etc.) from a lens of safety and acceptance

• Pendulating / balancing between more difficult emotions / felt sensations and easier / safer-feeling sensations

• How Nature can help us with all of this (and how we can help Nature in return)

• Having compassion for ourselves, however it goes for us 

Benefits from continued practice:

• Reduction in chronic physical symptoms like pain, fatigue, anxiety, stomach issues, etc. 

• A more nourished and flexible nervous system

• More capacity to make decisions and act from a more grounded, authentic, empowered place. 

• Feeling more connected to ourselves, the world and our fellow humans.

• More compassion and understanding for ourselves and others

• More hope for the future

This might be for you if:

• You have chronic symptoms like headaches, anxiety, back pain, fatigue, muscle tension, IBS, etc., and have already explored the traditional medical route 

• You tend to “live in your head” and avoid feeling your feelings or physical sensations in your body

• You tend to put others’ needs before your own, be conscientious, and want to “do the right thing”

• You’re “a feeling person in a messy world” (as Glennon Doyle says) looking for a little extra time and space to process the world’s messiness

• You want to be more fully present to your embodied, present-moment human experience, in Nature and with other humans

• You want healing support in-person, and in Nature with other humans looking to gently, slowly heal

• ?Do I want to make this for people that have already identified they have mind body syndrome / TMS / neuroplastic pain? AND already understand what they need to do and just want support?

This might NOT be for you if:

• You want to “talk it out” or get deep into the story/ narrative in this space (some talking is part of it, of course, but our focus will be returning to our bodies)

• You don’t want to try being still and quiet sometimes (it’s OK if it’s hard, though!!!)

• You want a quick fix (although we often feel better during and after sessions!)

• You are in acute crisis

• You are expecting outside guidance on problems or decisions (this process is mainly about turning inwards)

Format

Each session will take place outside, in Nature (location TBD in Chicago northside or north suburb location), and will include:

• Settling in, land acknowledgement, short group intro share, short teaching.

• Guided embodiment practice to tune into your own unique, felt  experience in the present moment.

• Time for solo exploration of feelings, sensations, and Nature.

• Closing ritual + integration + chatting.

What this is NOT:

• a space to verbally “vent” or get deep into the stories or narrative behind our feelings or pain

• a way to take our aggression out on people or nature, or to work out interpersonal conflict 

• trauma therapy, or a replacement for therapy with a licensed professional 

• a comprehensive wellness or healing program — we focus on one important part — embodied emotional awareness

• a place to debate or judge anyone’s personal experience (including your own)

What this IS:

• Trauma-sensitive approach in that nothing is forced (huge fan of consent here), we go slow, I honor each person’s own unique experience and way of participating; I do my best to explain what we are doing in advance and along the way (info is power); and I aim to be transparent in my training, approach, and what to expect.

• Primarily an embodied / somatic experience, but includes some space for mental processing to allow for better integration.

• Humor-safe-space — I love to laugh at myself, the process and world (but I’ll never laugh at you)! Laughter and humor is so welcome, but it’s also good to notice if our humor comes in as a defense mechanism against feeling our emotions. We don’t need to squash our humor completely (please no!), but good to notice it and allow it to be a doorway to feeling what’s underneath.

Underlying beliefs:

• Emotions and (most) physical sensations themselves are not dangerous; they can feel scary, but that’s based on our fear of them (which or our interpretation of them, or previous experiences, including trauma (big “T” or little “t” trauma). That doesn’t mean our body can’t experience them as dangerous — it can, and we want to be gentle with how we explore them from a trauma-informed lens.

• By offering our nonjudgemental compassionate attention to our emotions and pain and other symptoms, we are essentially diffusing the fear around them. If we can diffuse the fear, the charge of the emotions and pain and symptoms will diffuse. 

• Emotions are temporary, and we are separate from them. 

• Some people are not actually in safe situations (war, abuse, discrimination, etc.), but many of us ARE actually relatively safe most of the time. By nurturing our own sense of safety and capacity, we can better advocate for those people that are under more threat, and contribute to creating a society where all people are safe and can thrive. 

• We have often have good reasons for feeling our emotions, both societally and personally / relationally; this isn’t about trying to calm ourselves down to the point of inaction. In some ways, it’s the opposite —if we can connect with our emotions and sit with them until we get to the other side, we can act from a more grounded, authentic, place of empowerment. 

Influences (too many to list; just a sprinkling here):

• Forest Therapy 

• Pain Reprocessing Therapy  / Alan Gordon

• Inner Relationship Focusing / Maureen Gallagher

• Somatic Attachment Therapy

• JournalSpeak 

• Polyvagal Theory 

• Non-violent Communication 

• Women’s Wailing Circles (thank you Amy Landholt)

• Anna Holtzman

• Yoli Maya Yeh

• Resmaa Menakem

Q & A:

Q: What about group dynamics? What if I’m not comfortable sharing with the group, or what if other people share too much?

A: understandable question! First, there is no expectation or pressure to share anything at all. Sharing is a small component of the process, and while it can be quite powerful, you can have the full experience without sharing anything at all. (Also it’s amazing what just being near other human bodies can do, without words.) Further, I de-emphasize sharing personal details/stories/narratives. While a little of that is welcome (very briefly), I encourage sharing in terms of general emotion terms (fear, sadness, joy, etc) and/or descriptive felt-sense language (eg: a full feeling behind my eyes, tingling in my leg, heaviness in my chest, etc.) This approach is influenced by many of my teachers as an effective way to process emotions, and has the added bonuses of keeping group sharing circles from getting too heavy or personal, while also reminding us of our shared humanity — we all feel a lot of the same stuff!

Q: What kind of experience or familiarity with forest therapy, meditation, somatic practices, or other mindbody healing practices is necessary?

A: I want to welcome people with various levels of experience in somatic or mindful healing practices. So I welcome you whether you:

• Are looking for additional support alongside your current mind-body healing practices including JournalSpeak, parts therapy (e.g. IFS, IRF) Pain Reprocessing Therapy, Nervous System support, somatic experiencing, neural retraining, Gupta Program, mindfulness, etc. (I am very familiar with these and welcome discussion of how these overlap with this practice!)

• have a long-time practice of other inner work, meditation, mindfulness, etc.

• Are just starting to explore more embodied ways of being and processing emotions or dealing with pain or chronic symptoms.

Q: Do you offer this in a 1:1 capacity?

A: Yes! I am just starting to offer this process in a 1:1 individualized format. On your own schedule, location (from my list), and more individualized attention. In 2024, I may be able to offer a discounted rate for my “beta” 1:1 clients. Contact me to discuss!